Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize
