The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
