i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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