That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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