If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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