he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
