I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
