Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
