I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
NoShamevember. You game?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
