After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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