I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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