I just made out with a guy for $7.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
