You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize