Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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