ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
