Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
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