in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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