Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
