I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
