she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
it's great music for shaving your balls
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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