Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
