I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
