Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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