I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
