Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
