My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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