I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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