Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
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