Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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