You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
The power of my boobs compel you
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
