I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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