Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
