I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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