check it out our google latitudes are spooning
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
