He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
