You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
