I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
