Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
