dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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