she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize