So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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