Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
