My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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