Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
