I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
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