he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
