A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
