Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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