when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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