I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
