she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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