i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
