We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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