Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
