remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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