my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
