You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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