you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
