I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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