Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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