so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize