So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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