I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
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