Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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