you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
