I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
