it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
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