I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
