Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
