BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
