He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
