I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Sorry my hands just texted you
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
