Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
