You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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