watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
