Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
