People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
