Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize