we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Randomize
