i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize